Tips for Getting Through a Contested Divorce

 Posted on September 05, 2025 in Divorce

When a couple cannot agree on how a divorce should be handled, the divorce is referred to as contested. While this may bring to mind drawn-out courtroom battles, a contested divorce does not have to escalate to full-on hostility and years-long factual disputes. A skilled Cook County, IL divorce attorney can help to make the process as painless as possible through careful preparation and well-reasoned arguments.

At The Law Offices of Curtis Bennett Ross, L.L.C., we are here to assist you through the hurdles that come with a contested divorce. Attorney Curtis Ross is a solo practitioner with over 30 years of practical legal experience in family law, giving him deep insights into the divorce process.

Three Tips for Getting Through a Contested Divorce in Illinois

Do Not Antagonize Your Ex

At the end of a marriage, the relationship between you and your spouse may have soured to a point where you can no longer stand each other’s presence. Though it may be difficult, setting aside vindictive feelings so you can focus on getting to a resolution is the best approach. This is not for the sake of appeasing your ex, but protecting your own interests. 

Avoid contacting your ex if possible, especially if the communication is private or unsupervised. False accusations are common in contested divorces, and the less material you give your ex, the better. Stay off of social media, do not discuss your divorce with friends who will pass information along to other friends, and be very careful to keep your children away from relationship conflict. Your behavior in these arenas will reflect on a judge’s opinion of you, for better or worse. 

Try Negotiation Before Litigation

In Illinois, only a small percentage of divorces end up going to trial, with the overwhelming majority of other cases ending with a settlement. In fact, the courts will typically order divorcing couples to attend mediation before litigation. There is a very good reason for this, as contested divorce cases in trial can take a long time to resolve, burdening the resources of both parties and the courts. In some cases, you could even be ordered to cover your spouse’s attorneys’ fees (750 ILCS 5/508).

The more you can negotiate before reaching the courtroom, the faster and less expensive your divorce will likely be. Many divorces that enter the litigation phase have just a few issues that are under dispute, often involving factual matters about finances or the best interests of the children. Even if it seems impossible, mediation is sometimes a good place to start before moving forward to litigation. 

Work Closely With a Divorce Attorney

Working with an attorney for your divorce is always advisable, but this is especially true if you are going through a contested divorce. Few people who are not attorneys are familiar with the nuanced, complex laws and evolving case text governing each aspect of your divorce.Trying to handle your case on your own can lead to expensive mistakes that prolong your divorce and end in an unfavorable settlement. 

An attorney can provide you with valuable guidance to help reach an ideal outcome, including helping you prepare for mediation or engaging in direct negotiations with your ex’s attorney. When you do need to attend a court date, your attorney will make sure you have the evidence and strategies you need to support strong arguments on your behalf, including cross-examining your ex or any expert witnesses. 

Meet With a Chicago, IL Family Law Attorney

At The Law Offices of Curtis Bennett Ross, L.L.C., we are no strangers to contested, high-conflict divorces. When you work with our firm, we will base our strategy around your goals and priorities, planning carefully for your protection. To schedule a free, limited consultation with our Cook County, IL contested divorce lawyer, call our offices at 312-984-1514 today.